The Directors Cut Radio Program has designed a self help course for those who need to make it through the holidays. It’s a very simple 12 step program.

Step 1
Forget The Holidays

Step 2
Forget the people you would celebrate the holidays with.

Step 3
Buy yourself something you’d enjoy.

Step 4
Rent a Davenport pick of the week movie.

Step 5
Find a lovely lady/guy to watch this Davenport pick with. If you can’t find someone, come up with jokes about the film so you can send them to us.

Step 6
Plan on making love to this person you watched this Davenport pick with. If you don’t make love to them that night, make sure you play a game of sexual solitaire.

Step 7
Grab some alcohol, don’t drink too much, and take a nap.

Step 8
Realize the nap was refreshing and treat yourself to a little walk in the park. If a park is too far away, or you hate walking. Grab some 4 wheelers and drive them vigorously through the park. If this is illegal in your current location. Replace 4 wheelers with big wheels and enjoy acting like an 8 year old. (but try not to wet your pants)

Step 9
Wet your pants.

Step 10
Once you’ve realized that wetting your pants is like a warm, soon to be rashy treat, take a shower and relax.

Step 11
Realize no matter how embarrassing your sex life is… it’s not as bad as Ollie’s.

Step 12
Listen to The Directors Cut Radio Show and have at least one laugh. If you don’t laugh. Please return to step 1.

GET EXCITED FOR NEXT WEEK YOU WILL MEET THIS GUY!

Merkin Claus

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