The fun factor of MIAMI CONNECTION, a horribly entertaining 1987 musical martial-arts film directed by Grandmaster Y.K. Kim, cannot be overstated. Listening to its inane songs and dialogue will kill more of your brain cells than an all-night bender.
If you’ve haven’t yet, check out the posted interview with Y.K. Kim for more info. As promised, here’s a link to download Dragon Sound songs “Friends” and “Against the Ninja.” Your e-mail address is required, but it’s worth it:
http://t.opsp.in/a0EX7
Warning! Based on the behavior of the Dragon Sound squad at Fantastic Fest, one should think twice before inviting New Wave-rockin’ Grand Masters of Tae Kwon Do to your party, as they may bring watermelon and make you be the cutting board.
Y.K. Kim cuts into a watermelon. Photo by David Hill
Alamo Drafthouse rolled out the black carpet for the world premiere of Tim Burton’s B&W stop-motion marvel, “Frankenweenie 3-D.” Burton, Winona Ryder and Martin Landau were there, and one theater was reserved for a pack of black-and-white lap dogs and their human companions.
“Frankenweenie” is the story of a boy named Victor and his dead dog, Sparky. The setting is New Holland, a seemingly placid town which boasts the highest rate of recorded lightning strikes in the world. Its citizens and quiet tract houses inspire both fondness and dread.
Yes, Victor’s an outcast, but the kids surrounding him in his Science class are an even freakier bunch. Wait until you meet the Weird Girl and Mr. Whiskers…
The concise screenplay, written with John August, incorporates many Burton hallmarks: suburban outcasts, sad-eyed waifs and homages to classic cult films. It’s also packed with brilliant comic speeches. The science lectures of Mr. Rzykruski (Martin Landau), and the earnest ode to compromise delivered by Victor’s dad — illustrated by Scottsdale, AZ and a plate of Surf & Turf — will live with me for some time.
It’s a return to form for Burton, and it’s a treat to see the film acknowledge Joe Dante’s shared suburban lunacy when events spin out of control. This is one of the most joyously anarchic and heartfelt films of the year.
I imagine that some programmer got a chuckle scheduling the “The Final Member”, a documentary about the Icelandic Phallological Museum, as the follow-up to “Frankenweenie”. After all, both films deal with the dream of a life after death for Men’s Best Friends.
“The Final Member” takes place in Iceland. With a population of about 300,000 people, almost everyone’s related and knows other people’s business. It was surely something of note when Professor Sigurður Hjaratson opened a museum featuring the world’s largest collection of mammalian penises. What began as a joke became a life passion. But with his health deteriorating, the Professor starts to worry he won’t live to see his legacy completed. The last and most difficult specimen he seeks to acquire is ironically abundant: the human penis.
In addition to the many legal and personal requirements that potential donors must meet, there is an added stipulation from Icelandic legend that the donor must reach the “Legal Size” of 5 inches.
Two men answer the call: an elderly Icelandic adventurer who was a renowned womanizer in his day, and an eccentric American named Ed, who so desires to see his member properly mounted that he goes to great lengths researching and developing display cases, preservation methods, etc., Matters get more complicated when Tom decides to maintain quality control by cutting off his penis while he’s still alive.
The situation is extraordinarily absurd, but this documentary becomes an unexpectedly moving and thought-provoking piece on men’s fragility, mortality and legacy. It views our strange lives with bafflement and respect and is simply one of the best docs I’ve seen this year.
Heading east from Albuquerque on my annual drive to Austin’s Fantastic Fest, the sky starts to slap on my skin like a wet T-shirt. As night falls, I hunt for a vacant motel room, prowling through parking lots filled with shirtless men, drinking beer and firing up the BBQ. Sweat and fire and meat — it all feels like I’m at the end of the earth, but this is just Texas.
The Fantastic Fest is the USA’s most exciting genre film festival, held at the Alamo Drafthouse. This year’s theme, The End is Nigh, takes its cue from the approaching end of the Mayan calendar.
Over the next couple weeks, check in daily for my take on the World Premieres of Frankenweenie 3D and Red Dawn; documentaries about The Shining, The Exorcist, The Amityville Horror, and the Icelandic Phallological Museum; and more new finds.
I’ll be your Doomsday Prophet, heralding all the films that you shouldn’t miss before global annihilation commences.
If you haven’t had an opportunity to see these 2012 Oscar nominated short films and you’re placing last- minute bets, here are personal picks courtesy of Brennan Foster:
BEST SHORT ANIMATION
A MORNING STROLL. Winner of the BAFTA, this nominee depicts a chicken walking down a city sidewalk — over a hundred-year time span. Its animation style ranges from line-drawn silent film to post-apocalyptic 3-D landscape.
Of all the nominees, A MORNING STROLL entertains. It does so while riffing on Looney Tunes, smartphone apps, chickens and zombies with great invention and impeccable comic timing.
Another favorite: SUNDAY, a droll look at a Canadian family’s narrow worship rituals — traveling to church and gathering for dinner; only their child notices the many animals blithely getting killed as the day passes in the dying industrial town.
Presumed Oscar Favorites: Pixar’s LA LUNA and former Pixar animator William Joyce’s THE FANTASTIC FLYING BOOKS OF MR. MORRIS LESSMORE showcase gorgeous visuals that can’t overcome maudlin sentiment.
The latter gets a prize for Tweepiest animated short (‘twee’ and ‘creepy’.) Look, Mr. Lessmore: if a bunch of flying books are going to lure you to a magical house and adamantly insist (like a cat lady’s clowder rubbing against her legs for food) that you read them repeatedly for decades until you die… That’s horrifying.
BEST LIVE ACTION
THE SHORE. This Northern Irish production, starring Ciaran Hinds, wins top honors for its gorgeous setting and understated style.
Decades after fleeing the Troubles, a man returns to Belfast with his grown daughter and pays a visit to his old best friend and former fiancee, who married each other after he emigrated.
Gracefully directed by two-time Academy Award nominee,Terry George, the film shrugs off melodrama and enjoys the company and maturity of its characters, allowing them to have a good laugh or two at themselves.
It’s a wiser film for approaching major topics with small gestures. Another favorite: TUBA ATLANTIC. A complete antithesis to THE SHORE, this Norwegian short is about the last days of a cranky old man being watched over by a willowy teenaged Angel of Death.
The film gleefully depicts numerous seagull deaths and features a gigantic tuba built to sound across the ocean. TUBA ATLANTIC may bite off too much, but it chews with absurd gusto, like Popeye swallowing a can of spinach.
Finally, my late, Academy Award-related contribution to this week’s Top Ten List:
“What movie do you think should have been made naked?”
CHARIOTS OF FIRE! It adds a new fold to the religious context. Plus, the races would be much more entertaining.
