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Hamlet 2: The Directors Cut

BlasphemyShot in New Mexico and within walking distance to The Directors Cut studio, Hamlet 2 offers an opportunity (in Ollie’s eyes) to debate your beliefs in religious sanctity or artistic expression. In this episode we begin this debate with several open questions for our audience members. As the colorful discussion takes many twists and turns, we end in a way, the audience may come to their own conclusions on the opinion of artistic or blasphemous depictions of Jesus Christ. With moments of humorous bliss and downright disgust, this show also talks about the importance of nudity in Italian Horror Cinema. We also tackle the various topics that plague our society such as, Eddy Murphy’s gapped teeth, the new flavor of Heath bar, and current event knock-knock jokes.

Tropic Thunder: The Directors Cut

Sleepy female on a sunny summer afternoonI was wearing a blindfold. Had glass of whiskey in one hand, the other was bare. I reached out before me amongst the dozen half empty bottles of random other liquids. Like a mad scientist, shaking a bit of this and pouring a bit of that. I bring the liquid beast to my lips. A grotesque slather reaches the back of my esophagus, I gag, water runs to the edges of my eyes. My chest is on fire, the demons within are lashing their pitchforks against lining of my heart. Tears are on the brink escape, like the day I asked out my high school crush and she told me she doesn’t feel the same way. Now my body is aching, my mind is on fire, my movements are slowed, my eyelids droop. I can feel my brain, it’s soft and fuzzy. The alcohol so potient, if I had a car, I’d be an illegal motorist. I place the glass down on the table and remove my blindfold. One drink, plenty. The taste of this concoction will never be forgotten, even though the randomness of the ingredients handicapped us from ever recreating the horrid debacle of an alcoholic beverage, again. So what now? The drink needs a name. A way to forever remember the honor of this lavish drink. But since we are a movie show, we asked for your help in titling this drink with a movie title.

On a side note, we review Tropic Thunder.
We count down the Top Ten Movie Titles that can double as an Alcoholic Beverage

Enjoy this episode of The Directors Cut.

The following came from one of our Teen Wolf Fans Enjoy:

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Pineapple Express – The Directors Cut Review

Coolio Takes on Pterodactyls in a Showtime Movie!We see Pineapple Express, we review it. We take your calls, we laugh. But nothing will ever get you prepared for the lastest in Davenport pick history. COOLIO VS PTERODACTYLS! Yes, washed up rapper Coolio takes on the beasty dinos in the made for Showtime movie Pterodactyl. They should stick with WEEDS and get Mary-Louise Parker naked more often.

This weeks show is a radio emmy award winning special, well if they existed. But you’ll never see us nab a NAB award (National Association of Broadcasters) or any other award of the like. Unless we made it up, or our listeners came together and voted for us at www.podcastawards.com. But I digress, get excited for our top ten movies with either a fruit or a train in the title. Plus, we have a grip of other stupid stuff. We are The Directors Cut! The Nations #1 Show About Movies!

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor – The Directors Cut!

Attack of the 50ft WomanThis week we Review The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. We count down the Top Ten Classic Monsters who became box office hits. While Davenports chooses an Italian zombie pick of the week. We get a call from Rob from KWSS and delve into the lives of other listeners. Ollie is shown here in the photo on the right. For this coming episode we are looking for suggestions for movies that have either a fruit or a train in the title. As you probably guessed it, we are going to see Pineapple Express and we’ve ran out of ideas for top ten lists. So what are your favorite Fruit/Train Movies?

The X Files: I Want to Believe – Directors Cut Review!

The dollar bill conspiracy, a government conspiracy at the highest value.This week we review the new X Files movie. We also review Step Brothers. Ollie gets angry, over and over again. A bet is to be settled and we have audio from our visit to one of the finest wonders in the world with orgasmic results! Yes it’s another typical week on The Directors Cut!

Batman – The Dark Night: The Directors Cut!

Dan and Davenport Halloween Costumes Circa 1990The Dark Night. The greatest movie opening in the history of the world! We bring you the review, the news, and talk schmack about Heath Ledger! This week is an after school special version of The Directors Cut! Warning kids, Don’t Double Dip Your Prescriptions! We find out what the top super villain in the history of super-villains! Debra is not amused! Enjoy the laughs, the tears, and the joy of this weeks episode of The Directors Cut!’

The Directors Cut – GO TO HELL!

Cute Hellgirl dressed in a skirt at a comic conventionHellboy II: The Golden Army is in theaters and this week and we give it a small review. Our Top Ten List is top ten movies from hell! We took your suggestions and compiled your votes and by the end we have found the definitive best hell movies. Davenport skips out early and KY gives us a call, Ollie has recovered from his girlfriend, Debra gets harassed by Dan. This week we may need some suggestions for James Thatcher (Debras Nude Photo Expert) to choose from, it seems he’s not that much of an expert. Davenport has a pick, Ollie gives you Blu-ray releases this Tuesday.

Hancock – The Directors Cut! (and other dirty titles too!)

Superman, Batman and The Boy Wonder show their massive guns!

Ok, we have our minds in the gutter once again… Since we went to see the movie Hancock, we were investigating the Top Ten Movies Titles that may be mistaken for a sexual innuendo! We find them. Lots of them. Because our listeners, and our lovely Debra, is very dirty minded. Also we review Hancock, the greatest 4th of July film of all time! Ollie finds a nifty place for the union jack merkin fans of the world to unite. Davenport has a pick of the week, and Ollie gets some interesting listener mail. That’s about it this week on The Directors Cut! We need your suggestions for our top ten list next week Top Ten Movies From Hell. VOTE BELOW!

The Directors Cut 06/28/08

This is the Sanrio Hello Kitty Robot that greets all tourists to the plant

The Directors Cut is the second greatest radio show ever. What is the first? Our listeners have voted “The Teen Wolf Radio Show” as number 1… somehow. This week we have done some crazy stuff. Ollie is pissed at Dan, he won’t even return his phone-calls. In the new episode, you will find out exactly what happened. Thanks to Captain KY and a little Directors Cut twist. This week we reviewed a small film called Wall-E. We also let our listeners decide the best robot movies ever made! Davenport has another pick for you, if you’ve been listening to the show for a while it sounds like one he’s done before, guess what, it’s a sequel. Debra gets her first suggestions from her Nude Photo Expert. I think we need more suggestions from our listeners. Let’s let our expert filter out the worst and he’ll decide for Debra. We are the worst show on radio, The Directors Cut… that’s why we get away with everything. 

The Directors Cut 06/21/08

2008 San Jose Stealth Professional Lacrosse Spy Girls Dance TeamOperation code name:
Theater Thunder

Operatives Suggested:
You, The Director’s Cut listener

Objectives:
Lots of laughs and debates about movies!

Details:
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to listen to our review of Get Smart and count down your favorite spy / secret agent films. See Possible points of entry for further instructions. (Ollie likes possible points of entry!) Debra will have a new Nude Photo Expert to inspect and decide her next photograph set. The Studio has a new air conditioner and Captain KY assists Ollies love life. Dans girlfriend has a birthday and her mother sings.

Possible points of entry:
Call HQ (The Directors Cut) at 1(800) 893-9682, or cast your vote for Top Ten Robot Movies here, or on myspace,

Other Directives:
Tune in for Davenport’s pic of the week, send us photos of your girlfriend and we will send you stuff from our prize closet.

In the event that you or any of your team members are captured or killed, The Directors Cut will disavow any knowledge of your actions.

Love, The Directors Cut staff

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